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New Jersey Police ‘Arrest’ Package-Stealing Grinch

New Jersey’s Paramus Police Department is the latest in a growing list of law-enforcement officers to produce a whimsical public service video featuring the Grinch this holiday season.

In the footage, “Officer Kenneth St Andrews” is behind the wheel of a patrol car as the department searches for a porch pirate reported around town.

Despite attempts to hide behind trees and evade police, the Grinch is eventually caught and tackled into a leaf pile. Body camera footage shows the playful “arrest” unfold in Paramus. Credit: Paramus Police via Storyful

Video Transcript

KENNETH ST. ANDREWS: And I’m Officer Kenneth St. Andrews with the Paramus Police Department. But please all my friends call me Jim. I’ve been a cop now for a little over six years, nine weeks. Not a big deal. And I’m currently assigned to the patrol division which is good because that’s where the action is. I consider myself to be an avid indoorsman like anyone else. Television, origami, stamp collecting.

Sometimes on the weekends, I’ll make a fort in my living room out of pillows and blankets. Nothing too crazy. I love working for town. It’s a great town here in Paramus. We got great residents. We got a great department. We got three major highways that run through. A bunch of little ways. A lot of malls. It’s a very active town. We’re very busy. A lot of traffic. Very quiet.

Although this time of year, we will see an uptick in thefts, a lot of car thefts. People still leaving in their key fobs and their cars with their doors unlocked. May as well set out a red carpet and put out one of them charcuterie boards for the thieves. I don’t get it. We also get a lot of package thefts. Tale as old as time. Mr. Amazon comes, leaves a box, and before the homeowner can get it, gone.

Anyway, we’re checking this neighborhood here that got hit by the porch pirates last week. And we’ll see if we can’t find anything weird or anything suspicious, or anything that might be out of the ordinary. Well, what do we have here. Bingo.

[MUSIC PLAYING] [SIRENS BLARING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

Today was a good day. The homeowners got their packages back. They were grateful. And the bad guy went to jail. Hopefully he’ll think twice next time before he tries grabbing someone’s package without their permission. But at least the good guys won. That’s why I do this job. Taking packages off of people’s porches before the holidays, you really are a mean one. That might work in Whoville, but not in Paramus.

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